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| So
the nanny thing isn't going as well as I'd hoped. I've talked to
many families in e-mails, but only had 2 phone calls. Sometimes I
get pretty frustrated. The good news: there's a family who seems
interested. We've talked on the phone a couple times and they
want to fly me out to meet them in a couple of months. The delay
in actually getting the job would be both good and bad... Good because
there are several things I'd be able to do before starting. One
of them being visiting KCU for graduation. Bad because I won't be
getting any money until the job starts in June. It sounds like a
great job, but I keep reminding myself not to get excited because it
seems like whenever I get excited about something, it goes away.
If this job doesn't come through, my mom and I have agreed that I will
get a job here at home, whether it be daycare or something minimum
wage. I'm still really frustrated that my extremely expensive
degree is relatively useless where I live. That's about the worst
thing about this whole job situation. Although, the family that's
interested loves the fact that I have a college degree. Plus, I
really want to move out of my parents' house. The family that's
interested lives in NC! Pretty sure that would be a cool place to
live, at least for a while.
The home life is pretty good right now, mostly because I'm home alone
all day. Right now, my Grandma is in Californa (or Arizona, I
can't remember) visiting people. At some point, she's going on a
cruise. It's pretty much great. However, it can be really
boring. In the morning, I check my e-mail, hoping that a family
needing a nanny has contacted me. Then, I clean our house all day
until it's time to pick up my sister. That's when I help her with
her homework, take her where she needs to go, cook dinner, then get a
break before bed. It's pretty much like I'm already a nanny,
except I don't get paid. That, and Angie's 13, she doesn't need a
nanny, she just needs a driver.
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| I'm
not doing very well on xanga, but I had time today for an update.
It will probably be pretty long, and I apologize in advance:
First, the thing most influencing my life is that my job, that I was so
excited about, fell through. My boss decided not to open the day
care center I was supposed to run. Since she'd already hired
people to fill my former position at her current day cares, there was
no room for me. Technically, I guess you could call it being laid
off. Since then, I've been trying to decide what to do. In
the meantime, I tried to get a job in retail. However, you have
to take these personality quizzes, and I failed them all.
Apparently, I'm too exteme - I'm too hard on people who break the rules
(like drinking on the job or stealing). Since I refused to lie
just to get a job (it would be so easy, since I know what they want me
to say), they won't hire me.
So, I'm stuck at home. Again. However, I've decided to do
something that scares me to death but that I ignored God's nudges
in. I've always been drawn to being a nanny. It terrifies
me. All the good jobs are on the east & west coasts, so it
involves a move. I ignored this desire b/c moving far away
terrifies me. A conversation w/ my mom ended this quickly.
She pointed out that even if I were to move away from the midwest, I
have people all over the country who care about me. No matter
where I live, I wouldn't be more than a couple of hours from someone
who'd take care of me. My aunts & uncles are spread across
the country, not to mention my parents' army friends. It was so
cool to realize that I'd never be truly alone, even if I moved
away. So I put in an application.
Family relationships are coming together, as well. There've been
a lot of situations recently that have encouraged conversations that
have helped those relationships. For example, I just had a
conversation w/ my Grandma that revealed some interesting things.
I learned about my Grandpa. For one, he really did love my
siblings & I, even though we weren't related by blood. I got
up the courage to ask her why he was so mean when we moved in.
She started crying, but she answered my question - he loved us, &
he did what he thought was best. It was how he was raised.
She said it doesn't excuse the things he said & did, but he didn't
know they were wrong. I asked her why she let him get away with
it. She apologized! She opened up about her
childhood. Her father made sure his daughters knew their husbands
were the head of the household & the boss. She didn't realize
it wasn't true until she'd spent years w/ my parents and seen their
relationship. It made her realize it's supposed to be a
partnership, which neither of her relationships were. Then came
the hardest part of the conversation: I asked her why she can be so
mean to us when she gets angry. Again, she apologized. We
talked about how much her words can hurt. She promised to try and
be better, even though she doesn't know if she'll always
remember. She told me about her parents & described how they
raised her & her siblings. It sounded a lot like how she
talks to us. I feel like we made a lot of progress & I'm
hoping things will get better.
Another family relationship that's getting better is w/ my youngest
sister and my brother. We've gotten so much closer. I've
been telling my parents for years that when I finally moved out, maybe
we'd stop fighting then. Apparently, it took moving back
in. We've been hanging out, & I've even gone shopping a
couple of times with them. We hang out at home & joke
around. It's been pretty great.
Finally, I've been going to the same church now for almost 2
months. It's great - the sermons are interesting & Biblically
based & the worship is upbeat & heartfelt. It's kind of
fun that you don't know what's going to happen from week to week - they
change the setup, the order of the service, & what they do from
week to week. They're constantly shaking it up so you don't get
too comfortable & in a rut. The only bad thing is that I can
go into church & out & no one will talk to me. They all
know each other & pretty much don't notice me. I've
instigated conversations a couple of times, asking questions, but they
answer my questions & then excuse themselves. I still haven't
been able to talk to the singles minister - I've e-mailed him &
tried approaching him in church, but apparently he's too busy.
The positive aspect of this is that it made my decision to apply for
out-of-state jobs easier.
That's about all that's going on in my life. I'd appreciate some
prayer about finding a job. It's pretty frustrating to have no
money coming in, especially with my loans coming out of their grace
periods & Christmas coming up. I'm becoming really good at
finding deals. I've been on the lookout for cheap gifts in
clearance areas of stores & at Goodwill. I have 3 people's
presents & I've only spent about $5. They don't look cheap
since I got them in clearance, & I know the people I got them for
will love them. I'm thinking I'll also make things to supplement
the cheap presents, since I'm good at that and it won't cost a lot.
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| I
finally found a church that I can go to every Sunday and not go
crazy! It has modern worship and good sermons that aren't
completely crazy. I'm actually excited about going next
Sunday. The only bad thing is that they're looking for a new
preacher, and that is where the problems came in with my old
church. I hope I didn't find a church just to promptly lose it
again.
I
also went to the church by myself, which I never do! Then, I
didn't know where to go, so I actually talked to people. One of
the greeters was this nice-looking older woman and I asked her about
where to go. She introduced me to the young adult minister, who
told me about the two different services (one contemporary and one not)
and invited me to a young adult Bible study. He was really nice;
I was pretty impressed with myself for talking with strangers.
I'm just glad to have found a church, especially one with programs for
people just like me!
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| The
church I went to a few weeks ago was pretty boring. They sing
hymns a capella, which is difficult to stay awake through that early in
the morning. They're also annoying me right now - they're a
little pushy. They keep sending me invitations to come back, even
though I told them I'm still looking. There's nothing else wrong
with it, so I'm keeping it as a backup.
I couldn't find anymore churches online, so I drove around town to
see what else I could find. There are a couple more churches I'd
like to visit. One is a huge Church of Christ near
Wal-Mart. My boss says she visited it because it has great
children's programs and she enjoyed it, although it was too
modern for her - she's Lutheran. Another is a non-denominational
church. It looks tiny, but that's what I'm used to.
Finally, my boss is driving me crazy. I worked one day this
week; I don't even have a schedule. She just calls me when she
needs me. I wake up early every day so if she calls, I'll
be able to talk to her. She keeps saying we'll get together to do
paperwork (which I get paid for) for the daycare I'll be running.
However, I think she likes doing it herself. Plus, the
daycare won't be open until mid-October, so I have a
while to wait for a full-time job. Not to mention the state still hasn't gotten back to us on whether they'll
allow me to be a director. They have to decide whether I'm
qualified, and they're taking forever! I can't do director work
until they decide...Real life is pretty much sucking right now.
Not what I expected at all.
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| Nothing
new about the job situation yet, but I do have news on the church
situation. I went online to search for churches and found 2 promising
possibilities. Plus, I'm trying to contact an old friend in my area
that would probably know plenty of good churches. At least I have more
to try out - I was running out of the churches on my old list from the
web. I looked at these 2 churches' web sites and read their information
for themselves and they sound really good. I'm actually looking forward
to the next 1 or 2 Sundays.
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